video games

What are we really saying “yes” to?

What are we choosing when we say “yes” or “no” to: “Mommy, can I play xbox/wii/computer?”

What do our consents, denials, or non-answers like “I don’t care”, or “I suppose” really lead to?

When I give permission for games and television that’s exactly what I get…my boys don’t opt out on their own. So they are sucked in to generally mindless entertainment.  Even if I allow only educational programming, games, and websites, part of the child’s system really does check out when he is absorbed by visual stimuli.

If I don’t agree to electronics, but don’t give a clear and direct “no”, the default for them is…you guessed it, electronics.  They are drawn to them, they are stimulated and entertained without much effort.  Even when they get frustrated with the outcomes of their actions in their games they still stay.  Being a “non-gamer”, I really don’t understand that behavior.  But I don’t truly have to understand the underpinnings of motivation to see that too much time in front of a screen is detrimental.  They are less relaxed, more irritable, less creative and imaginative, more frustrated and less patient to name just a few outcomes when they spend too much time drawn into computers and devices.

They aren’t as happy and they aren’t as much fun.

I am not one to eliminate games, movies etc from our home.  I really do believe they have a place in our lives.  I do applaud those who are happily living without some of them though.  To own and use the many options for electronic entertainment and information is a personal choice.  It’s the overuse that causes problems in our home.  And I believe “over use” has a personal threshold.

What truly surprised me was the realization that saying “yes” to electronic entertainment really meant I was saying “no” to other things.  Since my boys, by default, are drawn to this type of entertainment, by saying “yes” too often I was removing other options that they wouldn’t have discovered if I had said “no”.

By denying the privilege of  games and movies I was saying yes to so much more!!

I was saying yes to: Continue reading